When you fail...

This past weekend I traveled to Cleveland, MS (which is part of the “Delta”, agricultural region of Mississippi) to speak with some undergraduate scholars visiting Delta State University.

Just 4 hours prior to arriving, I failed my super-detailed, extremely difficult Pathology exam. Right now, we do test blocks where we study and go to class for 5 weeks, and in the 6th week we take exams from every class. I knew it was my fault that I failed because I had been focusing so much on doing well in other classes that I put off this final exam of the week. I was distraught, I was upset, I wanted to wallow in my feelings, but I went to Cleveland anyway. I had a commitment to keep to those students who needed to hear from someone who had been where they are. It was the best thing I could’ve done, because I was able to share my story (yes, I told them I failed a test before coming to see them lol). It made my connection with them more genuine, and they could relate to me. 

Here’s my conversation with a group of students. 

Student: “How do you persevere through so much? How do you get through the rough patches in school?” 

Me: “Honestly, you have to get to a point where even failure can’t stop you.” 

They all became wide-eyed and leaned in a little closer.

Me: “I just failed an exam hours before coming to see you guys.” 

Student: “Really? You’re so positive, I can’t even tell!”

Me: “Well I’m definitely hurt about it, but I also know that I messed up and have to do everything I can to come back harder next time. Being in my feelings won’t fix it. Plus coming and sharing that with you guys makes me feel better, and helps you push through whatever you have going on.”

That was also a realization for me. It’s not my first time failing and it won’t be my last. 

I also spoke with students who are currently working for their Masters’ degrees at my school as an alumna of the program. I was able to be real with them about my struggles and I could tell that they needed it. Sometimes you get so caught up in your head with perfectionism that when you do mess up it seems like everything will come to an end. I was there to show them the big picture. 

I let them know from the beginning that I wasn’t a 4.0 student with a 520 on the MCAT and offers from 10 different medical schools, but I was “Anissa C. Butler” who failed the first month of graduate school, but turned it around to A’s and B’s. I was the A.B. that made a 7-point jump in my MCAT score, and learned myself so well in graduate school that I had an amazing foundation for medical school. I am the current A.B. who fails from time to time, but takes advantage of failures to become extraordinary.

You guys….FAILURE HAPPENS! It’s inevitable. It’s part of life. (And if you disagree, I invite you to revisit the hardest parts of your life.) We fail when we don’t wake up on time, or don’t finish studying as much as we wanted, or don’t finish an assignment that was due the day before, or when we become angry with the people who love us. We all fail, constantly. But we’re also learning creatures, so we can turn failures into something amazing.

The next time you fail:

-      Accept that you failed and that you will fail again.

-      Feel your feelings about it completely. Don’t hide from how you feel because it’ll come out later when you don’t want it to.

-      Analyze your failure, observe your strengths and weaknesses, and fully investigate what happened. The more you know, the better you’ll be able to handle it next time.

-      Move on to the next thing. Your work can’t stop when your feelings are hurt.

The most successful people in the world have a history of failing to get to where they are. Success comes with persistence THROUGH failure. Not by avoiding it or going around it, but going straight through it.

“If you’re going through hell, keep going.” – Winston Churchill