6 steps to healing your inner pain & ending your suffering
We suffer day-in and day-out…
…mostly because of our resistance to circumstances, not always because of the circumstances themselves. In the moment, problems hurt and they suck. But after the exact moment has passed, there is no need to hold on to the fact that whatever event has happened to you. Dwelling on events extends your pain, even though in the present it's no longer happening. Your pain ends when you allow the course of your life to be as it is instead of focusing on what should have happened or what has to happen in order for you to be happy. Honestly, if your life turned out exactly how you expected, you would be bored and miss many of the opportunities and miracles that come by surprise. Stop torturing yourself by letting go of your attachment to having control over your life, and allow yourself to surrender instead.
The word "surrender" usually makes people instantly defensive. The word is associated with weakness, giving up, or passivity. Thanks to one of my favorite social media gurus Jessica Dore (@thejessicadore on Instagram & Twitter) - I now know that surrender is the strength to allow whatever comes to pass through without judgement. Surrender is the active intent to flow and observe. To do anything other than surrender is to cause suffering through resistance. Resisting drains your energy, feeds your attachment, leads to greater disappointment, and leads to worsened anxiety or depression.
Building unshakeable inner peace, stillness, and faith is the key to surrender. When you know that you are ok and safe no matter what comes, there is no need to resist the present. When you know that no matter what you "sense" (with your eyes, ears, thoughts, etc.) and no matter what the physical realm portrays to you, life is what it is. And I hope you know life is beautiful; it is filled with miracles. It is miracle to live, it is a miracle to have access to information and knowledge, *insert more miracles here*.
How do you build this inner peace, stillness, and faith?
Consume information pertaining to these subjects DAILY.
(Some of my suggestions are below.)
Challenge your painful thoughts, memories, and feelings with thoughts, memories, and feelings that make you feel invincible, unstoppable, and at peace.
(example: When I begin to worry about if I will walk again, I remember the times I've gotten to bond with my boyfriend while dealing with my injury. I remember being able to sit outside for as long as I want while out of school. I remember I can go grab a book and take my mind to a different location at any time.)
Challenge anxious predictions of the future with the best outcome you can think of.
(example: Sometimes I think, What if I'll never walk again? What if they never find out what's wrong with me? --- Then I challenge it with, What if I find out next week what's wrong with me? What if my physical abilities are restored and my body comes back stronger and more flexible than it's ever been? What if I can't walk again, but I find a passion I never would've found if I didn't look for something to replace dancing?)
Remind yourself in whatever way necessary that you are safe.
Get support.
There are days when I can't help myself and my resistance is at an all-time high. This is when I ask my support system to help me.
Practice through meditation.
Your way of meditation may not look like everyone else's and that's ok. You may only be able to quiet yourself for 30 seconds and that's ok. This is why it's called a practice. You don't start as a master - you practice and make it a habit.
Doing these 6 things has helped me to stop my suffering and begin to learn what consistent inner peace feels like. Once you have a taste of it, you won't ever allow yourself to suffer again. We are not meant to suffer. We are meant to live a life of fulfillment and joy. Bad things happen to us, but we don't have to dramatize it. Some of us feel that we won't receive empathy or the love and support we need if our problem isn't big enough. Understand that your struggles are valid without you holding on to the story, Understand that holding on to this story also causes you to hold on to and repeatedly experience the pain from it. You can heal yourself and still get the empathy, love, and support you crave. How? By sharing what you've done to heal yourself in order to help heal someone else. For me, that's using my blog, YouTube channel, and social media. For you, it may be sharing this with the one person who really needs to hear it from you.
An important part of becoming a well-balanced high achiever is taking care of yourself mentally and emotionally. Self-care is not a trend, it is a survival necessity. Take the time to heal your emotional being by flowing and releasing attachment. Now watch as the miracles and opportunities appear.
- Much love, AB 💛
